The Night Before

↑ To stay or to part the night before? G and I on our engagement shoot. Image (c) Chris Barber Photography



So the night before your wedding… do you follow tradition and spend your evenings separately?

Seeing as the majority of couples now live together it seems a tradition that isn’t really necessary any more, or is it?

When G and I were planning our wedding, he wanted us to be separate the night before. Me with my anxiety issues, just wanted it to be like any other night, to feel more normal. But thinking about it, i guess spending the night before apart makes it feel more special, makes you excited to see your fiance at the end of the aisle.

G and I are not traditional in that we have a child before marriage. I think i dream of us having the evening before together as a family and perhaps even spending the morning getting ready together. What G thinks maybe is a whole different story mind due hehe!

Perhaps my vision is a little blurred by my anxiety issues. But that’s just me. Now I’m writing this, it is a nice idea to spend it alone, perhaps writing your vows or a sweet love note to your spouse to be. Or maybe just in with someone you care about, having a giggle. Maybe you will be spending it pampering yourself or reading. Maybe cracking out the wedding DVDs with your maids would be a fun way to chill out, or perhaps you are planning on doing your last bits of wedding DIY.

Or maybe have no plan and just enjoy the moment.

So are you being traditional and spending the evening apart? If you are what are you doing? Do you want a distraction in case you feel nervous? Or do you want to just relax alone? Maybe you are planning your hen do the night before, does anyone do that anymore or is it just in Eastenders hehe?


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  • We stayed apart, and I think it makes it so much more special to then see each other for the first time on the wedding day.
    So in that sense I suppose I am more on the traditional side.

    But I wish we had the option of a ‘First Look’ Session when we got married (9 years ago), because I would’ve really liked to have done that too!
    Bit less traditional I suppose ;-)

  • I want to spend it together but I think my Maids have a different idea altogether! Tradition and superstition don’t matter one but to me I just want what works for us as a couple we have barely had a night apart in nearly 6 years and I don’t see it as a last night of being single etc so would love to wake up with him and ship him off to his mums promising to meet at the end of the aisle (or to do our first look – working on it he isn’t keen)x

  • Hi! I’m staying in a hotel the night before and my other half is staying at home with his groomsmen. It’s not really a tradition thing for us, I guess it just works better as I have to be up at the hotel at the crack of dawn to get myself and all the maids ready for our 12 noon wedding. My mum was upset because she wanted me to leave from her house with my dress on, but it just wouldn’t work logistically. Going to be having lot’s of fun to distract me from my nerves hopefully, a lot of family and friends are staying with me in the hotel and planning to have a meal and a few drinks – not too many – don’t want a bad head for the big day :-) xx

  • My fiancé and I have lived together for nearly 4 years,but we will definitely be spending the night before our wedding apart.I’m so looking forward to spending that night with my sister and best friend,just chatting and having a glass of wine.I think being apart makes the reveal at the ceremony just that much more special.

  • I think we’re pretty much decided that we’re going to spend it apart. We’re lucky to be staying in on-site accommodation, so once we’ve decorated the venue, we’ve decided to have a big dinner all together with our friends and family who are staying on-site with us, and then go our separate ways before we go to bed.

    I definitely want the morning alone to get ready with my best girls – it’s such an exciting part of the wedding day and I want to dedicate some time to them and them alone – but am super keen on a first look just before the ceremony. I stupidly revealed this plan to my friends over the weekend who were all HORRIFIED that he might see my dress before the actual ceremony, and to be honest I’m not entirely sure he’s completely sold either – he doesn’t want to miss out on that ‘Oh my God’ moment as I walk up the aisle…

    I’m thinking that a compromise might be to have our first look before I put my dress on: share a drink, a cuddle and a kiss, and a few calming words before the chaos ensues – like you I’m hugely concerned about my nerves and anxiety, and think spending a little time with the boy before the big moment might help stop me bawling my way down the aisle!

  • I’m with Kelly. I would love to spend the night before together. I sleep better with him there and want to wake up in the morning and lean over and say “We’re getting married today…” That excites me more than waking up at the crack of dawn with the girls and wondering how he is. Then his best man can come and whisk him off and my girls can come and whisk me off and we can say ‘See you there’, and so the getting ready part is still separate and special… But everyone else does think I’m mad.

  • Oh i am loving your contributions, thanks girls :-)

    I wasn’t sure anyone would agree with the night together, so it’s lovely to hear i’m not alone on that one.

    And yes!! The first look… i totally want to do that.. perhaps that should be a whole new topic hehe!! xxxx

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