All images (c) Lou at Whimsical Wonderland Weddings

Morning WWWers, i hope you are enjoying the weekend. I have been loving the Olympics, i so wish i was off to the park to watch the events. I have been glued to the tv/radio getting patriotic and into the sporting spirit. Have you?

Remember the heat wave a couple of weeks ago? I barely can now hehe! But we had fun in the sun. We camped out in my parents garden, and A played in the paddling pool. G took some photographs and i thought i’d share a couple today. It was good to get the sandals out wasn’t it?!

Little A loves water bless him :-) This past week hasn’t been easy. At the weekend A was poorly so we were quarantined in at home, it was good to get some jobs done at home and properly relax though. This week G has been working, and it’s not easy without childcare i tells you. Working mummies will know that guilty feeling i’ve had all week. So i am looking forward to some respite next week.

Me and my mum with the weekend papers :-) I’ve been enjoying sewing for fun this week, i’ve bombarded my instagram feed with pictures, so take a peek if you fancy being nosy hehe!!

Time for some deep thinking.

This bit is the scary bit :-) I’ve not spoken deeply for a while. Bare with me.

In my slowly but surely recovery from severe anxiety and panic attacks i’ve had some realisations. G and I are so happy right now, and i realised how much i pushed him and everyone else away from me. Afraid to be hurt, afraid of rejection, a coping mechanism if you will. I hadn’t even realised it, until i opened up again, i relaxed a bit, i let go. I think every other part of me was focused on just getting through the day. I’m still trying to connect with people and i do struggle with it sometimes. Why would someone want to see/talk/listen to me?!

Perhaps it’s a long term self confidence issue. I never feel like i fit in, that i’m left out. The first chance of an excuse to feel that way i take it. I need to change my outlook. Im trying to take risks, im trying to put myself out there. But i quite often feel like the geek at school that had no friends still.

The clincher for me, was realising just how ill i have been. Not just how much i’ve missed out on the past couple of years but how much G has. It made me realise how much he loves me, and i needed to open myself up to that love again. Not to push it away afraid to be hurt. The same thing goes for my family and friends, they stuck by me, they didn’t forget me. SO somehow, i need to build that confidence. Perhaps with age, wisdom and experience i can.

I just want to say if you are struggling with anxiety, and the relationships around you are under strain. Don’t give up. You will get through this. Trust me, if i can be this happy and well again, so can you :-)

And breathe… ;-)

If you follow WWW on facebook you may have seen this super-super-epic-scale sneak peek of some amazing weddings heading to you this summer. On Wednesday i uploaded over 2000 images ready to feature soon… erm WOW!!

Image credits from top left: Craig + Eva Sanders Photography, Matt Agan Photography, Lucy Turnbull Photography, Toast of Leeds, Photos by Zoe, Campbell Photography, David J Perkins, Marianne Taylor Photography, Martins Kikulis, Cotton Candy Photography, Marshal Gray Photography.

I can hardly wait… ekkkk!! And there is so much more i haven’t included :-))

I shall be back 9 am sharp tomorrow :-) Have a great day you guys XOXO Lou

PS thanks for listening :-)

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