It’s Laura!! Yay! And this week she is getting a little serious.. we’d love to hear your thoughts on dieting as a bride or groom :-) XOXO Lou
Image by Anna Clarke Photography
Before I start, I’d like to congratulate my fellow Real Bride Adeline. She only went and got married last weekend! I’ve seen one of the official photos and she looked absolutely beautiful and so happy. Huge congratulations, lovely lady!
This post is going to be a bit more serious than my usual flippant offerings as I need to talk about the dreaded W word. Weight.
I bought a second wedding dress this week. An emergency-back-up-what-if-I’m-too-fat-to-fit-in-dress-number-1-dress.
If you’ve been following my planning journey you’ll remember that I bought a dress by a well known designer, 2nd hand on ebay. It was a fraction of the cost I would have paid for it if it had been new and I was really happy with it. Aside from the teeny, tiny fact that it’s a size too small…
I have weight issues. I have never maintained my weight at a set level for any significant period of time. I am always either losing weight or gaining it.
My relationship with food is terrible. I use it as a crutch when I’m sad/angry/stressed and I use it as a reward when I’m happy.
I’m actually quite good at dieting when I put my mind to it and I have, in the past, lost upwards of 3 stone by following slimming world and the like.
In November, when I bought dress number 1, I was a size 14. My efforts to get into dress number 1 started in January and since then I have gained 5lb. Suffice to say it’s not going well.
Being at weddings most weekends working hasn’t helped matters. People keep giving me cake and I don’t seem to be able to say no. Sigh. And what I realised a couple of weeks ago is that the fast approaching date of my wedding and the fact that I’m no closer to being able to fit in dress number 1 is a significant source of stress.
So I had a little look on http://www.bride2bride.co.uk/ to see how much a second, back up dress would cost me and I found an amazing dress for £200.
It’s £200 that I didn’t budget for and that I can’t really afford but it’s £200 that has taken a massive source of stress away instantly and the dress is so very amazing and very ‘me’ – so much so that I think it might be The One.
So now I have two dresses. One too small and one that’s just about right. I’m not sure which one I want to wear most…
I started the Dukan diet last week. It’s pretty extreme and you eat nothing but protein for the first three days and then after that you’re allowed vegetables every other day. Joyous, huh?
Moderation wasn’t working for me and I now need to be strict for long enough to lose around a 1.5 stones so that dress number 1 fits me and so that I am happy with the way I look on my wedding day.
It’s day 4 as I write this and I’ve lost 3.5lb so far so. I’m gasping for a glass of wine though…
It’s funny, I spoke to the owner of a bridal shop a while ago and she told me that I shouldn’t worry about losing weight as Pete is marrying me because he loves me.
Great advice but I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing it because I want to look back at my wedding photos and not criticise the way I look.
In a lot of ways I think it’s sad that us girls put ourselves under so much pressure to look a certain way. The media continually shoves a very specific, defined image of what beauty is and what it should be down our throats and I hate myself a bit for caring but I do care and I want to feel beautiful on my wedding day. For me that means being a bit thinner.
So who knows whether it’ll be dress 1 or dress 2 on the day (exciting huh?) or whether I’ll go slowly mad from the boredom of the restrictive diet I’m on.
Are you dieting for your wedding day? Maybe you’re trying to put weight on? I’d love to hear that there are others in the same boat.
Laura
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Friday, June 29th, 2012 at 5:03 pm
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Sarah Joel says:
I recently got married, and I lost 15 lbs in the lead-up to our wedding, due to a concerted effort of healthy eating and exercising. Having now received our photos back, I am so pleased I put the hard work in. I too did not want to look back at the photos in a few years time and think how awful I looked.
Keep going Laura!
Kelly {WWW} RealBride says:
Yep to everything you have said! As you know I'm
doing the Cambridge diet and it's going very well! I've tried everything and so at this is the only thing that's worked for me! You are gorgeous Laura and looked amazing on our shoot, but I'm the same in that it's how I feel about me that matters and I didn't love my pics from the shoot all I saw was multiple chins and bingo wings (sexy huh?) the dress was gorge, the accessories stunning, hair and make up exceptional but I didn't like me and have to do something! So here I am 17lb+ lighter and feel a million times better already.
Good Luck honey vvvv intrigued by dress number 2!!!!x
Sam says:
Hi Laura! You sound a lot like me. My weight is up and down all the time - mainly up haha! I love food, it gets me by. There's nothing better than getting home after a long day at work and tucking into pizza and chocolate, not at the same time :-) But my wedding is now 12 months away, sounds like ages, but if I to try and convince myself to diet it will probably take that long. I'm a size 14/16 (drifting to an 18 in Primark especially in jeans) currently and would love to be a comfortable 14 or maybe even a 12 (heres hoping)! With dieting I tend to be all or nothing, so I decided last week that I would follow the NHS scheme 'couch to 5k', it starts with gentle exercise, walking into little bits of jogging then finally running. Its only been two weeks but already feeling healthier and have more energy. It's been really hard though and if I keep it up it will be a miracle. Let me eat cake!! It's so hard. The bridal shop have already taken my measurements for my dress now and are saying they can only order the larger size and take it in if I lose weight - seems silly to me. It's not due to arrive until 6 weeks before the wedding. I'll try not to stress. Anyway - you will look fab on your big day!! Can't wait to see some pictures on here. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, because it is a long day :-) xx
Grace says:
Ah Laura, I know exactly how you feel. I am currently on Slimming World and have so far lost about 10lbs. The reason that I did it was because I was starting to feel uncomfortable, my trousers were getting tight and my face was feeling puffier! I also knew that I didn't want to look back at my wedding photos and wish that I had gotten rid of my extra chin, wobbly arms etc.
I don't want to lose loads of weight, just enough to make me feel good about myself again. I'm petite, and therefore don't need to lose many lbs before the weight loss shows.
I'm ordering my wedding dress in a couple of weeks so will take my measurements then. If I dramatically put on or lose weight, I know a fab seamstress who will save me!
x
Kitty Westhorp says:
Hi Laura, I really relate to this post. I feel the exact same way as you.
My fiance doesn't mind what weight I am but I too want to look back at our photos and not be worried about a flabby arm or my wide hips... I have about a year to go, so still have plenty of time till the day but want to order a dress at the size I am and not have the pressure of having to slim down to fit in it. I don't cope well under pressure y'see...
I'm currently doing slimming world and am a few lds away from losing a stone. Restrictive diets don't work for me, because as soon as I give something up I want it more! So Slimming World is ideal because you can eat as much as you like of most things!
I really hope size doesn't stop you wearing the dress you want to, which ever one it is, and I'm sure both will look stunning. Good luck!
Jo Crowley says:
My partner and I are both currently doing Diet Chef, which is really convenient, however after losing 9lbs we then went to Cornwall for 4 days and I put most of it back on again. I'm back on it but having trouble sticking to it, though I am getting to the gym 3-4 times a week. Hoping to lose about a stone and I have 8 months to go, which maybe is why I'm not really trying that hard - it just seems so far off.
Good luck with your efforts, I'm sure you'll look beautiful whichever dress you end up in!
Pip - aka Philippa! says:
Laura I completely get where you're coming from and thanks for such an honest post. I bought my dress the week I got engaged (with just over a year till the Big Day) and while I'm a (ahem) large 14, it's a it's a small 12. Eek!
It's heart wrenching when I put it on and can't do it up, but it's been the best incentive ever, I'm doing myfitnespal.com where you log your calories and exercise and I'm already starting to feel like I'm shaping up. Keeping track of what I'm eating is the best way for me to keep on top of weightloss. I'm getting up every morning in all weathers to walk the dog for 30 minutes (130 calories burned before breakfast!!) which I would never have the motivation to do without the thought of that dress looming large.
Like you, I'm confident that Mr P loves me whatever, and I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it because it's better for me and I know I can look the business when I'm a healthy size. I might not get into The Dress, and may well find myself frantically searching bride2bride too in a years time, but as long as I'm happy & healthy that's the main thing.
You're going to look great whatever.
anon says:
I have begun exercising with my man fir 3 weeks - he's lost kilos and inches and is looking great. I have not lost any weight and I'm constantly tired and hungry. I also found I've started to bruise really easily. My friend's into nutrition so she's going to help me out - I hope her diet can sortme out. I feel really lousy at the moment.
Alexa says:
I understand exactly where you're coming from Laura (didn't we first meet it each other in the gym?!) I've really struggled with weight my whole adult life but I made a conscious decision not to diet for my wedding a)because diets send me to loony places I'd rather not visit, and b) because I knew I'd always look back on my wedding pics and think 'that's not me!', as I knew I wouldn't sustain it afterwards...and I'm so glad I made this decision as I could look forward to and back on the day without weight being an issue. I may not be the thinnest bride there ever was, but when I look at my pictures I see the happiest bride, and on the day it was the last thing on my mind. As long as you are comfortable in a dress that fits you'll feel fab whichever dress it ends up being. Well done on a brave post lady x You'll have an amazing wedding, and Pete and your family and friends will be so proud whichever dress you wear, and now you have two choices! xxx
Lou says:
girls, the suppport you have shown to Laura has blown me away... you beautiful girls you xxxxx
Laura {Babb Photo} says:
Thanks to all of you lovely lot for your supportive comments. I am back from a week away and I'm going to start my diet in earnest now but with Alexa's comments in mind - I don't want this diet to be a source of stress. As long as one of my dresses fits it'll all be fine! xxx
Natalie says:
I have exactly. I mean exactly the same relatinship with food. It makes me happy. fullstop. Though with my August 2013 wedding fast approaching I do not want to be a size 18 for my wedding. There is nothing at all wrong with being a size 18 but this isnt the way I imagined I would look on my wedding day. I am 5 ft 6 and feel squat in my own regular clothes. My first attempt at wedding dress shopping sent me into a spiral of panic attacks and tearful tantrums (what would the staff in the shops think? I am going to be so huge nothing will fit!) but I did it and it went ok. Only ok. I tried 8 dresses on I think and while they were nice I didnt get that feeling everyone kept telling me I would. Then I found a picture of the "one" online. So convinced it was the one I travelled miles to the only shop I could find that had it. As soon as the assistant brought the sample (size 10) out I was blown away. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The very lovely lady in the shop smiled and said have a similar style and shape if you would like to try it in your size before you commit (who ever heard of a bridal shop having a sample size 18!!) so I tried it. As soon as it wenr over my head I knew. As she was lacing me up I had decided and when I stepped out of the dressing room and my mum began to cry it was decided. Half the price of the original dress I wanted to. I am being fitted on december the first. I joined weight watchers on Monday. I will be a size 14 by then if it kills me. Which it might.
You look beautiful by the way. As you are. I understand though.
Jo says:
Laura,I feel your pain. I've been engaged 7 whole days, we haven't set a date yet, hell, I don't even have a ring yet but I've already begun 'shedding for the wedding'. You are 100% right, that it's not about your other half or anyone else. I see it that by doing this (wether it's a couple of pounds or a couple of dress sizes) I am striving to remove at least one element of stress and apprehension from what should be a glorious day.
x